A letter for the darkest hours

Dear Boluwatife,

This letter should be kept for the toughest day of this journey. The day when you hit rock bottom.

If you can still see the light, then perhaps it’s not time to read this yet. But in the moment when all you can see is utter darkness, where you do not have any energy left to move on…

As you drown in hopelessness, my love, kindly use your last fighting breath to read and execute all that is written in this letter.

First, you are a woman.

Discard what the western culture and the prismatic agenda is implanting into our society. You do not identify as anything asides from being a woman and having the regenerating spirit of God in you.

Like folks will say… It’s okay to cry, to get tired, to rest.

I’m not here to encourage the weakness from your reinforcing series of trauma, from which you realize you have lost everything. Rather, I’m here to support you through ‘what happens next’… Your recovery.

If the timing of this letter is right, you are currently at a period where you lack interest in anything around you. A period where you cannot trust your strength and would rather just sleep. You feel an overwhelming sadness. A sadness that may not have a defined origin.

You may have just woken from your bed but all you want to do again is sleep. And depending on the contributing factors, you may feel like you are not enough. Like your skills, family background, capacity, beauty or achievements cannot suffice for the love you desire, the social status you want, or overall; the greatness you want.

I do not have all the answers, but I want to share with you what I have. You either trust me or have a lot of time on your hands, otherwise, you won’t have read this letter to this point.

But you are safe. I promise. I have nothing to gain from lying to you, and if you don’t believe me, you can as well throw this aside eventually. But what I ask for is a chance to walk this journey with you.

Now, I ask you to obey the following instructions to the letter. Religiously.

I make no promises, but since you have nothing left, you also have nothing to lose. So, feel free… And let’s navigate these waters together.

Write your forgiveness letters

Boluwatife, get yourself a pen and a paper and write a forgiveness letter to yourself.

You are writing this letter to relieve yourself of the guilt of having tried and failed. The pain of having made those choices you regret. Or of not having taken those steps you ought to have taken.

For whatever pain or numbness you have acquired from your past, this letter is to help you process that hurt and to finally get rid of it.

Start by saying this

“Dear Bolu, could have thought a day like this would ever come when that beautiful smile would shrink to misery, pain and tears? That all the efforts, sacrifices and honesty you gave Femi would result in naught?”

I insist on a pen and paper, knowing fully well how extreme you may get when you write to the point where it hurts the most.

However, you must write this letter like you would if you were addressing a good friend. You must not write hurtful words, curses or insults. You would never do such to a good friend.

Understand that you are writing the errors first and then the truth about yourself. The affirmative words that have strengthened you in time past.

If you didn’t have such words, start by reading Ephesians 2 verse 10 in the Christian bible. There is so much reality in that bible chapter for you. Read it. (Remember you promised me will you obey the instructions in this letter)

Write only what you believe. Your strengths, your truth. This is not a paper of faith confessions; it is a paper of your reality.

Look ahead and describe that future you dream of, then tell yourself that the only person that can stop you is you. That means you are insanely powerful. You just haven’t realized it.

As you write, allow yourself to feel. Write it all out till those words have no power nor value to you. Till you can smile at how naive you were, instead of cursing at yourself for making those mistakes.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, you still haven’t completed this course, but what you have done is to cut away from the grip the past had on your advancement.

Recount your strengths and achievements

Boluwatife, the series of failures may have affected how you see yourself. You may have begun questioning if you are living in self-deceit or if you can truly achieve your dreams. After all, not everyone would win. So, who is to say that you are going to win?

These thoughts cannot be true because your greatest achievement in life will be the salvation of your soul. No matter the riches you eventually accumulate. What’s more, you have a father who knows how to take care of his own.

Remind yourself of your strengths. The things you have done and can do. Don’t be so humble as to ridicule what your creator has placed in you. Write them exactly the way they are.

“I am Bolu, and I have sung to the applause of my friends, even ladies who did not know me.

I gained admission amidst high competition to study Zoology in a reputable African university.

I can submit my heart totally to love, just as God taught us to love…

I started a business. It crashed indeed. But I wasn’t just talking about it, I truly started a business”

Yes! They are your achievements. Yes! They are yours to own. You may not be there yet, but you are not a nobody.

As you write, allow yourself feed on the joy of having done something, no matter how intangible it may be to the world. You are not the same person you used to be. You have grown, you have fought, you lost some battles, you won some others.

While I cannot contain everything for this journey in this letter, Boluwatife, I want to conclude this with some instructions

Move your body in a wild dance this night. With the sound of good music. Either alone or with family, you must do it happily. Speak out words of gratitude to anyone you feel grateful towards. We want to eliminate the accumulated negative emotions… and the only way to do this, is to let love flow.

This is only the beginning. I made no promises, but one. Till you discover the peak of your potential, I will never forsake you.

I love you, Boluwatife. I always will.

And indeed, you will hear more about me in my next letters.

I promised to stand by you once. And I will, till the end of time.

You have a friend in me.