A letter to read before knotting the noose

“If you take out the next six months. Six months of clear focus and absolute dedication to a simple goal. That goal could be dieting, writing a book, learning a programming language, starting a business, fixing your habits, whatever… You see, those six months can bring back what four years of slot has taken from you.” The grey-haired man on the podium said.

I could tell he wasn’t finding the precise words to express what he really wanted us to get, since he rephrased his statements three times over, but I jotted down his words nonetheless.

These seminars used to be sleeping pills for most of us, but today no single eye was closed. This man spoke so calmly, we could feel his words syncing with our heartbeats. He took his words one after the other, slow and soft.

Carefully, he adjusted his suit, and drank water from the glass cup beside his notebook. “When I was about your age” the man continued, “I noticed a persistent cycle of regret in my life. It was simple but wickedly unbreakable.”

“I would get something wrong, wallow in regret and self-pity while the next opportunity for a breakthrough passed me by. Then, recovering from that first depression, I’ll start regretting the second missed opportunity.” He looked at the direction of my sit and I quickly evaded his eye contact. His gaze was piercingly strong. I was scared he would see into my soul, my vulnerabilities and inexistent self-worth.

The man took a few steps off the podium just in front of the crowd. “Years after I noticed the pattern, I still wasn’t able to break it. I had lost so many great opportunities. I was poor and frustrated, and eventually, I sunk to the deepest point of depression where I told myself: It’s over. Time to end my meaningless life.”

After the seminar that day, I started seeking to understand how people went from being super motivated about living life, to ending the same life they so badly wanted to enjoy.

What goes on in their minds after they’ve tied the noose and just before they jump down from the chair is difficult to tell. However, I was able to discover things that could totally have prevented the persistence of depression and the eventual action of suicide.

Picking up those who are behind

This part is for you if you really believe there’s nothing left for you in life.

People tend to say “I understand how you feel”, when they want to help you through your pain. The statement is often replied with “You have no fucking idea how I feel”. Then the person tries to let you know he has also been in the same situation you are in, while you keep trying to justify and hold on to your pain.

The height of pain you feel is nothing compared to the darkness, regret and sorrow in the irrecoverable transition to death. Where you will realize you had the strength and power to turn your life around and become the best of us all.

The truth for you could be any of these:

• You don’t what else to do. You just want the pain gone. Life threw the greatest you’ve ever experienced at you, so hard you want it to end. You know for a fact that time will heal this, but the pain is just unbearable.
• You don’t know how to become happy again. Everything around you reminds you of how unhappy you life has been. You don’t want to die, but you don’t know how to move forward to become that great person you once envisaged.

Holding on to your pain and the memories of what you have lost is comfortable. You get to hide away in your shell and run from the painful healing process. The mere thought that what your are facing is not much of a big deal scares you… since it would mean, you don’t know how to handle a simple setback.

Man, it’s time to stand up. You have no idea how strong you can be until you tell your success story. Mind you, taking your life is like jumping out of a hot soup into the fire itself. There will always be hope for you as long as you live. So cut the noose and step forward. It is time to win a battle.

That said, what do you now do to get the most out of your life?

Making our lives count

The simplest ideology to making the most out of your life is,

‘Make the most of your life today. Do the best you can do, then repeat the winning cycle tomorrow.’

Winning starts from the tiniest things. Brush your teeth and take your bath. This is the first way to remind yourself how much you love yourself. Taking your hygiene with utmost concern makes you conscious of your existence. My teeth is dirty, it deserves to be clean. So, I immediately take the step to make it clean. This energy you use in making the little things happen is the same you will use to make the big things happen.

Don’t forget, the big things are created by little things done repeatedly.

Little drops of water, little grains of sand
Makes a mighty ocean, and a pleasant land.

As you incorporate good hygiene, skin care routines, and healthy eating habits, you begin to feel good about yourself. This energy will allow you venture into projects and skill acquisitions. And with each successful milestone, you will recognize an increase in your self-esteem and morale. Your drive and life-force will also receive a boost.

Don’t expect people to come around and celebrate you in the beginning. Humans are more drawn to success than the process. So trust the process and stay persistent.

Note: Making your life count isn’t as much about where you are going as it is how you get there. So, the little things you do everyday matters.

• Show love and appreciation to friends. Stop shouting about ‘haters! haters!’ all around. Everyone is struggling with their own worries. Some people just handle it better than others. Be there whenever you can. People need you.
• Learn your lessons doesn’t mean become a different person. Don’t ever trade your freedom, happiness and love for the pain others brought into your life.

Your goals are not too small!

People often intimidate their peers with a description of their visions and ambitions. The make elaborate statements about things their friends probably never even heard before, and soon the others begin to feel as though their wasting their lives.

Your goal is valid. Your profession matters. Your dreams and aspirations are yours… don’t make anyone every make you feel like you are not doing enough.

I want to be remembered as the one who always made us happy. The friend that gave all he had to help us become who we are. This makes me happier and more fulfilled. It does not make me better than you who will become a billionaire politician and vice versa. Your goal belongs to you. Own it. Achieve it.

A brilliant lady I call Orange showed me this lesson. At a tender age, she created her life’s goal and has stood by it ever since. A truly remarkable lady.

Journaling

On some days, we are blinded by certain obscurities and we begin to ask ourselves if the labor is worth it. You almost give up on your routines and good habits because you don’t seem to notice the big leap success you’ve been waiting for. This is where journaling comes in.

Growth can be tracked. Simply put, you can know how far you’ve gone, by noting where you are coming from. This is a better way of noting how far you’ve grown. Other people have to compare themselves with their role model, mentor or friend. This may be depressing at times especially since growth speed differs between people. (The opportunities and network people have differs, so, your role model who has a better nepotistic advantage will grow at a sporadic rate. You may not have that privilege.)

This is why journals assist you in keeping the tabs on yourself without drawing a standard from someone else’s life.

Journals are books where we record our undertakings. Plans, Lessons, Executions, Ideas on practically anything. There are different kinds of journaling and while this would be a topic on its own, I’ll recommended that you take on journaling. Build consistency in it, and I assure you, it’ll not only help you track your growth, but also assist you in achieving your ambitions faster. All while living a simple, happy and tension-free life.

‘Journals help you compare yourself with your younger self. We keep journals to hold our life track. Living another man’s life comes inadvertently, you know…‘

In summary, the life-death spectrum is one everyone navigates. But no matter what point of the spectrum you are, so long you are living, you still have all the hope you need to make life happy and fulfilling for you.